10 Rules to Live By

These are a few rules that I swear by, to help me get through this crazy/beautiful thing called LIFE (they are in random order). If you can APPLY at least 1-4 of these rules to your every day life, then living life may become easier! If I don't swear by these, I am all out of order..kind of like a broken machine ;)

Okay, so lets start!

1.

You are in control of your own happiness

(This means that. no one can control you being happy. Only you can. Sure, some of you may have been dealt shitty cards in life, but even with the shittiest cards you can make order and some sense out of it. The only person that can make yourself happy is YOURSELF. No one is living your life, but you. So make it worth it)

2.

Treat People How you Would Want to Be Treated

(Treat everyone with the same kindness that you would expect to be treated. Generous, sincere, loyal, and trusting are all good traits of RESPECTING another person)

3.

Karma

(Like Lil Wayne says "Karma can be a bi**%, depending how you dress her". What goes around, comes around. Therefore...what YOU put out in this world, you receive. If you are not a good friend, most likely you will find yourself friendless. You get the idea.

4.

Do What Makes you Happy

(Meaning, find what it is in life that truly you feel that you love. My mom once told me, that having all the money in the world is not worth it, if you don't have a burning desire to wake up every morning and be excited about doing it. If you feel like this, maybe some more self -discovery can help lead you in the right path. You have ONE life to live, and you don't want to be miserable all for a dollar and some change!)

5.

Always Forgive but Never Forget

(I am sure that many of you have been done wrong by someone in your life. I know I have. But to dwell on that and the person who caused you stress and harm is not worth it. That can actually bring you down. Don't focus on revenge. The best thing to do, is in your heart is to forgive that person so that you can move on with your life. Don't let one person take away your happiness over something that was probably petty anyways. Move on, forgive, but NEVER forget what that person did, so that way it doesn't make you look like a fool in the end to get burnt twice!!)

6.

Always Be Accountable for Your Actions

(If you know you messed up, don't sit back and let others take the blame. Fess up for your wrong doings and don't make the same mistake twice)

7.

Get Up, Get Dressed, and Show Up

(This reads what it means. Don't waste your precious time. Get up every day, get dressed and show up to life. Life is ticking away, day by day! Make the most out of it before God calls you home)

8.

Let Go and Let YOUR God

(Many of us want to fix something that is beyond our control. I will be the first to admit that. I tend to beat myself up over things that are way out of my hands. Maybe your stressed at work, having a situation with a partner or friend...instead of beating yourself up over it, let YOUR God take care of it. I say "your God" because not all of us believe in ONE. Put your heart and mind at ease and know that your God has your back)

9.

It's Okay to Cry

(Holding back how you feel is not good. That can be stressful. And stress is not good for your heart. Whether you cry alone or in front of someone, its okay! It really is. Its way healthier to have a snob fest then let it reach a boiling point where it becomes anger instead of tears)

10.

Don't Judge a Book by Its Cover

(This is kind of broad. But it's the same thing as "Don't judge someone until you have walked a mile in their shoe". People are human with emotions. People have bad and good days. Days filled with laughter and joy and some are filled with pain and tears. You might meet someone from what others have told you, or met them one time and maybe they were having a bad day. Until you know someone and can start picking their brains, you don't have the right to belittle someone form here-say. That breaks rule #2)

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Xoxo,

Courtney!!

I wanted to give a shout out to all the people who take the time to read my blog (I consider this my baby, since I am a newbie to this blog world)!! So to those who have sent me kind words about this blog, I really appreciate it. This blog is viewed all over, which amazes me :)

Stay blessed everyone!

Winter Fashion Trends

This has to be my favorite time of the year to shop and play dress up! Since I am a curvier frame,I find it hard to pull outfits together during the summer. This is when I de-friend all my skinny friends, lol. Jussssst kidding ;) I LOVE everything about the fall and winter time weather, for one...I am covered up, and secondly...you can layer on clothing and NOT feel guilty about it at all :) Yesssssssss!!!!

I have seen a couple trends going on either in the magazines, or out shopping. One trend that I am ALL over is the Native American Navajo themed clothing. The solid colors, with pretty artistic patch work. I have seen dresses, skirts, sweaters, and ponchos all in this themes style. If you pair this style RIGHT with some white-washed skinny jeans OR jeggins and some cute booties, Trust me, it would look fab. These style always bring me back to Disney princess Pochantas. I love her :) When it comes to hair while wearing this style...I tend to go for a side messy bun, side fish tale braid, OR wear it out with exxtra wavy volume! Pop on a bright lip color and keep the make up subtle and youhave the perfect day to night outfit. **I will post pictures below of all the trends mentioned**

Another thing that recently has caught my attention, is girls rocking shorts this time of year. At FIRST, I thought this looked crazzy until I learned how to complete this look cohesively. Leather shorts are in right now. As well as the high waisted fabric shorts. If you pair your fave shorts with some opaque tights and some booties or knee high boots, this would look HOTT :) Keep it simple though ladies, you are already wearing shorts in the winter-time...so if you're going to pair shorts with tights, then wear booties OR knee high boots (they don't need to be knee highs, but you know a boot that is longer than a bootie type of shoe). IF your bottom half has the POP of color, then pair the upper half with a solid tee (I prefer a simple black or white V-neck shirt or cami)Add a blazer on top, and you have thee PERFECT date night outfit! You can also pair shorts in the same sense with out tights, but to me...I think that is tacky. I mean, don't get me wrong...IF you have those legs and don't mind being cold...then go ahead! BUT for me, I wear this style ONLY with tights.


I have also seen a lot of colored jeans going around! Someone can easily mess this look up by pairing too many colors in one outfit. Color galore...we don't want that! If you are going to wear a pop of color in ANY outfit, whether it be pants, to shoes, or a shirt...keep it cohesive. You have a POP of color on your pants, then keep the upper half neutral. Basic. If I wore a bright RED pant, I would not wear pink or red, or blue on my upper half. I would pair a white or black cami or v-neck and of course, my handy dandy blazer. (I own too many of those, you can never have enough)!

So far, I have seen ALOT of colors this season and alot of color blocking. Blacks, greys, and silvers can never fade away during this time of year!

So remember if you're going to buy any of these styles, just make sure it all flows nicely together. Don't overload on colors. If you're going all out on your upper half, keep it simle down below and vice versa ;)

My Tips:

*Always have some black tights
*Have a few different styles of blazers (off white, and black)
*Buy some cute and comfortable booties and knee highs
*Experiment with fun lip stick colors (purples, pinks, reds)

I hope this helped explain some of the style that are going around in my perspective. By NO means am I a stylist, but I LOVE fashion :)

Thanks

Xoxo, Courtney


**Pictures; Kourtney Kardashian rocking the romper with tights and booties. Jessica Alba in red pants, black blazer and white v-neck, paired with black booties.**

**Also, credit is given to the store, Love Culture (www.loveculture.com)**

New Year, NEW Weight?!?

So EVERY year around this time, I tell myself that my New Years Resolution is to loose weight, like most of us, we are GOOD for FIRST couple weeks, then we slack off like a bad habit :( This my friends has been going on with me for years. I finally have made a choice to once and for all do this NOT just for me, but for my kids. I hope and wish to be able to LIVE a long life and would want more than anything to see my grand-babies :) So I am doing this for my kids as well.

Here is some HISTORY on my weight struggle. Growing up I was ALWAYS skinny.When I got to high school, I was skinny. I am 5 feet, which is TINY, lol. So I NEVER passed 115 lbs.

Once I got to college (Penn State University), I gained SOME, but still NEVER made it past 130 lbs. I think I just came into a curvier figure. The food that I ate was put into all the right places, lol.

I got pregnant in 2004, and that was a ROUGH year. I had just graduated high school in 2003, sooo much was going through my mind at the time. Scared about being a young mother and scared to have to worry about whether his father and I would stay together to raise our son. LONG story short, my father was VERY strict, and when I found out that I was pregnant, I was too scared to even tell him... anything that had to do with me being pregnant, I would confide in my sister and my mother. My mom basically ended up telling my dad and I wasn't allowed to stay there (in his eyes, IF I was grown to be sexually active like that, I can be grown and get out). Which I ended up doing after I finished up the semester. I moved to Brooklyn, NY in November of 2004. My weight from there went UP.

I moved in with my boyfriend's mother who is Dominican. They LOVE starches...rice, yuka (which is like potatoes), pasta. I gained SOOOOOOOOOOOO much weight with our first child, not sure if it was because I had nothing else to do while I lived there, out of boredomm OR was it because we were first time parents and felt like we had to make sure our baby was eating? Lol...who knows. BUT I blew up. After I had my son in April of 2005...it took me a year or so to loose the weight. And I was back at a lower weight but not at my pre-baby weight. But my face was skinny and everything else. Just not as tight as it used to be. Mothers...you know how it is. Some of you are blessed to have those GOOD genes, ughhhh!!

I got pregnant with my second child in 2007, I was pretty much skinny again. Lost most if not all of the baby weight from my son. This pregnancy was sooooo much different then with my son. I knew that I didnt want to get fat, lol. And my eating habits were so much different than that of my sons. I felt nauseas of most foods. I actually had to see a dietician during my pregnancy with my daughter because I wasnt gaining weight at those regular check ups that you have while pregnant. I have to admit, I looked pretty good while pregnant with my daughter. I was skinny with a belly! I was like that all through the 9 months...my belly would just grow. I gave birth to my daughter June of 2008. As soon as I delivered her, I was back to my normal self. I breast fed her for a couple weeks which helped shrink the uterus back down and burned calories. I really felt that when I would breast feed my daughter.

I maintained my skinny frame after her delivery. NOT super skinny, but it was tiny for what I have been.

Now, this is the part where my weight went up. In 2009 (Feb-March) my father was diagnosed with cancer. He underwent radiation treatments, but in a short time, radiation wasn't doing anything and his doctors said that if he did surgery there was really no point. So they gave my father a couple months to live. That was the hardest thing for me. I had just had my daughter and to hear this news really upset me and I got really depressed. When I get depressed, I tend to let food comfort me. When I found out in his last moth he had to live, as he slowly declined and requested not to die in a hospital setting, he wanted to do in house hospice care, I packed my bags and took my baby girl back to my parents house with me and left my son with his father due to school to watch over my father and be close to him. Also I wanted to help my mother out. That month as he slowly died, we had shifts. I would do the shift from 10pm-2-3am. Since my father basically lived in our dining room on a hospital bed, with a feeding tube attached to him, someone had to be there to disconnect it from him when he needed to use the bathroom. Also, we needed to make sure that he didn't fall or anything on the way to the bathroom. He had a bell in there with him, so that we could hear him. So for about a month or so, I had this late night shift, where I was extremely depressed, and ate while I sat up to watch him. I would watch tv, and eat ice cream. EVERY night. My weight gain went from good to BAD quick. My father surcame to cancer in April 2 days after my sons birthday). Once he did pass, I was sooooooooo depressed and would cry every night. And I would eat and eat and eat.

Almost 3 years later...I have not lost all the weight back yet that I gained during that time of having my daughter to my father passing. I know my father would want me to be in good health (not skinny, but at a weight meant for my frame).

These are not excuses, but this is what has shaped some of my weight gain. Its very hard, esp once you have kids...they tend to want all the sweet thinga. I am making a healthy lifestyle change for myself and for them. We are not people who binge out on junk food by any means. We are somewhat healthy but could be alot more healthier.

So, after Christmas passes, I will go out and buy a scale and weigh myself with a beginning weight IF any of you are in this with me or interested, I can put up the beginning weight, then week by week or month to month, show the weight progress. I hope this helps me or any of you who are going through something similar...it all starts with you acknowledging that there IS a problem and DOING not saying.

-Cut out ALL soda, even most juices
-Start re-vamping your fridge...BUY organic
-Put in MORE veggies and fruit
-More fish and chicken, turkey
=Eat breakfast, light snack, lunch (small snack), and a well poportion dinner


Here are some pictures of my weight through the years:

**Happy Holidays**

It's been awhile since my last posting! I hope everyone enjoyed thier Thanksgiving!! I know that I did, and probably gained a few pounds (as most of us did), lol. I am curious to know what are some of your rituals for Thanksgiving? Does your family have traditions where you cook the same thing every year? Who cooks what?

As per our family, we tend to cook the same thing every year. We do a turkey, candid yams, corn caserole, string bean caserole, mashed potatoes, 2 kinds of stuffings, mac n cheese, and rice and beans...trying to think of anything else I left out?!? I think that;s the majority of it. This year was the very FIRST year that I made the candid yams all by myself :) Proud of that dish, lol! My sister is the cook of the house, so for me...this was a accomplishment!!

My Mom decided to add a ham this year, which we have never done before. It was soooo YUMMY!!

It's now December, I can hardly believe it. Time has flown by. Still NO snow yet...but I will never complain about that! I HATE the snow and being cold. So I usually dread this time of year, but as of yet...the ONLY thing that has fallen from the sky is rain, which I like :)

I just wanted to do a quick update and WISH everyone a very very blessed HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Also, this is a time where you should try and reach out to someone less than fortunate than yourself. If you have a home or a aprtment to go to, or running water, clothes and shoes...then consider yourself VERY lucky. There are many many homeless people out there on the streets, some with young children. There are men, women, and children fighting the battle of thier life, cancer. Let us not forget about them. If you have time in your day to vlunteer and help with charities, go out and look for one that interests you. I know growing up, my parents had my sister and I partake in many charities, such as Toys for Tots where we brought in and gift wrapped each present for children. We also rang the bells in the freezing cold for the Salvation Army. I am blessed that my parents had my sister and I do these things because of that, I am now able to pass these things onto my kids. My son who is 6 years old was given $3, he saw a man ringing the bell for Salvation Army and gave $1 to the man. This made me feel proud that my son was willing to give up $1 (to him that was a BIG deal, because he does not know the value of money clearly yet, and those 3 bucks were somethign BIG to him). So little things like that, helps. If you cant find the time to donate your time to, then donate 1 DOLLAR to the Salvation Army, or buy a gift (does not have to be big), and drop if off at a Toys for Tots location in your area. I stress this, because we should not only do these sorts of thigns during the holidays, but again...the holidays are supposed to be filled with lots of love and family. Why not make a person's life brighter. I know how I feel when I give back what I can, you will feel good as well. Promise!! :)

So as we go out and shop around for presents this year, or as we stand in line at the grocery store, let us NOT forget about those who are less fortunate and try to give back what each of us can! This is our world we live in, we are all one.

Again, HAPPY HOLIDAYS and make someone's life a little brighter!! Xoxo

Courtney

Hair update :)

Hey everyone!

So I had a little time in my schedule before I need to go pick my son up from his after-school program! So I figured I would do a little update on my hair :)

As you should all be aware of by now, a couple months ago I went on a hair-diet. Meaning, I use NO heat whatsoever, and I wear it in its natural state, which is curly. I have not straightened my hair or used any sort of heat on it probably for almost 2-3 months! :) Very proud of myself.

Well on 11-14-11, I decided it was time to give it a try and straighten my hair. Its such a LONG process for me. I swear I started at 12am and finished about 1:30 (maybe a little bit earlier that that, but it was def. after 1am).

I put my hair in sections to make it easier. Then section off that section into smaller sections to get each little strand of hair. Once I do that, then I spray each section that comes into contact with heat with a heat protecting spray! Ughh, just typing it and thinking about the process seems so annoying. Lol...maybe I am OVER-dramatic :)

Anyways, I finished and I was soooo IMPRESSED with how much my hair grew. It was probably a couple inches or so, but to me...I was very content with the inches it did grow!

Once I finished flat-ironing my entire head, I sectioned my hair into 2 parts (leaving my bangs out), then pinned those sections back after spraying some Olive Oil on it. I grabbed my flexi-rods and rolled my bangs on each side. I finally went to bed...

When I woke up in the morning, I took the pins out, and touched it up a bit with the flat iron, then I took out the flexi-rods and I was amazed to see the curl that I got without having to use a curling iron on my hair!! These flexi-rods are like my NEW best friend

. They gave my hair volume and style to it without having to use any heat, which makes it even better!! So if you're anything like me and are trying to get the hair on your head back to a good place, then I strongly urge you to step back from heat and go on a heatless hair diet 2-3 months at a time! And when you do finally get to straighten your hairm use flexi-rods to give you a style look. Check out my previous post on flexi-rods and how to use them!

I got soooo many compliments on my hair the following day! People I know, thought that I went to a hair salon to get my hair done, so being someone that wasn't into hair at all and knew nothing about maintaining it, I felt very proud of myself..

So, remember go on a heatless hair-diet. Start maybe little by little, see if you can go 2-3 weeks with out using any heat, then if you can...amp it up to 1-2 months without heat. I started on this heatless-hair diet in the summertime, which was probably the best thing for me. My hair is naturally curly, so in the summer-time there is NO point to even bother to straighten my hair. It will sweat out anyways, which is super annoying. And if I go to the beach with my kids or to the pool, 10 times out of 10...I end up getting in the water, so really no point to it.

So no heat ladies, and when you do, its all about the flexi-rods!!

*Also, I forgot to mention, when you are on this no-heat hair diet, it doest NOT mean leave your nautral hair neglected. I still took really good care of my curls. I would apply the Shea Moisture masque on my hair every week OR every-other week. And I would use other Shea Moisture products on my curly hair, so it wa snot neglected.

And MOST importantly, women of color do not need to wash thier hair everyday! Our scalps tend to be heavily moistured as it is, plus all the product that we use adds more moisture to our hair and scalp. So I do NOT wash my hair every day, by doing so, you eliminate your hair and scalps natural oils which can make your hair dry and dull.

Here are some pictures that I took on my web-cam the day after I straigtened my hair! Hope you like :)

Any questions, comments, or advice...I would love to hear!

Thanks and many blessings, xoxo

Courtney

Flexi Rods

I didn't think that I would post again so soon, but since this was on my mind since last night..I had to share something that I left out of my previous post in "Things I can't live with out"!!

So if you are new to my blog, I welcome you with open arms. Anyways, when I FIRST started this blog, I went through a complete hair experience. My hair was so damaged from years of coloring, bleeching it, and not trimming my hair frequently enough!! Anyways, long story short...I went to the salon and they had to chop off soooo much of my hair! :( But, this experience totally put me on this great hair journey. I no longer color my hair (I haven't since almost a year and a half ago), and I wear it more in its natural state, which is curly! Lastly, I do NOT use as much heat as I used to with the flat iron, and I know...we all love our beloved flat irons, even girls with straight hair use them!

With that said, no heat which means no flat irons/curling iron. I came across flexi rods! They are the BEST invention yet, since the rollers :) In my opinion at least. Flexi rods are basically what it seems like they are, its a soft cushioned rod that is bendable. You use them the same as you would a regular roller set, but you don't need any pins or clips to hold your hair in place, which is genious!!!! Also, the fact that they are softer, makes it sooo much easier to sleep in at night. I used to hate doing my hair in a roller set and sleep in them, I never got sleep :/ With these, you do :)

You can use them in wet, damp, or even dry hair. They can be used in weave, or in your natural hair.

I like to wash my hair, and comb it out, placing a small ammount of Morrocan Oil on my hair, then proceed to roller set my hair with the flexi rods. If you leave them in over night, the curl will be so beautiful!

These are sol dat beauty supply stores. Check out Sally Beauty on line. I bought mine from Ross's, a store in my mom's town for ONLY $1.99 for a 6 pack (they were the purple ones). They sell them in different colors for different hair types and the type of curl you want!!

I really reccommend this to someone who is trying to get on the healthier track when it comes to thier hair. No heat used, no clips used. Just the rods and your hair, and some product if you like :)

Please comment below if you like. Also, check out this video below that I found on You Tube on the use and look of flexi rods. Thanks, xoxoxo...

Courtney