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Courtney!!

I wanted to give a shout out to all the people who take the time to read my blog (I consider this my baby, since I am a newbie to this blog world)!! So to those who have sent me kind words about this blog, I really appreciate it. This blog is viewed all over, which amazes me :)

Stay blessed everyone!

Winter Fashion Trends

This has to be my favorite time of the year to shop and play dress up! Since I am a curvier frame,I find it hard to pull outfits together during the summer. This is when I de-friend all my skinny friends, lol. Jussssst kidding ;) I LOVE everything about the fall and winter time weather, for one...I am covered up, and secondly...you can layer on clothing and NOT feel guilty about it at all :) Yesssssssss!!!!

I have seen a couple trends going on either in the magazines, or out shopping. One trend that I am ALL over is the Native American Navajo themed clothing. The solid colors, with pretty artistic patch work. I have seen dresses, skirts, sweaters, and ponchos all in this themes style. If you pair this style RIGHT with some white-washed skinny jeans OR jeggins and some cute booties, Trust me, it would look fab. These style always bring me back to Disney princess Pochantas. I love her :) When it comes to hair while wearing this style...I tend to go for a side messy bun, side fish tale braid, OR wear it out with exxtra wavy volume! Pop on a bright lip color and keep the make up subtle and youhave the perfect day to night outfit. **I will post pictures below of all the trends mentioned**

Another thing that recently has caught my attention, is girls rocking shorts this time of year. At FIRST, I thought this looked crazzy until I learned how to complete this look cohesively. Leather shorts are in right now. As well as the high waisted fabric shorts. If you pair your fave shorts with some opaque tights and some booties or knee high boots, this would look HOTT :) Keep it simple though ladies, you are already wearing shorts in the winter-time...so if you're going to pair shorts with tights, then wear booties OR knee high boots (they don't need to be knee highs, but you know a boot that is longer than a bootie type of shoe). IF your bottom half has the POP of color, then pair the upper half with a solid tee (I prefer a simple black or white V-neck shirt or cami)Add a blazer on top, and you have thee PERFECT date night outfit! You can also pair shorts in the same sense with out tights, but to me...I think that is tacky. I mean, don't get me wrong...IF you have those legs and don't mind being cold...then go ahead! BUT for me, I wear this style ONLY with tights.


I have also seen a lot of colored jeans going around! Someone can easily mess this look up by pairing too many colors in one outfit. Color galore...we don't want that! If you are going to wear a pop of color in ANY outfit, whether it be pants, to shoes, or a shirt...keep it cohesive. You have a POP of color on your pants, then keep the upper half neutral. Basic. If I wore a bright RED pant, I would not wear pink or red, or blue on my upper half. I would pair a white or black cami or v-neck and of course, my handy dandy blazer. (I own too many of those, you can never have enough)!

So far, I have seen ALOT of colors this season and alot of color blocking. Blacks, greys, and silvers can never fade away during this time of year!

So remember if you're going to buy any of these styles, just make sure it all flows nicely together. Don't overload on colors. If you're going all out on your upper half, keep it simle down below and vice versa ;)

My Tips:

*Always have some black tights
*Have a few different styles of blazers (off white, and black)
*Buy some cute and comfortable booties and knee highs
*Experiment with fun lip stick colors (purples, pinks, reds)

I hope this helped explain some of the style that are going around in my perspective. By NO means am I a stylist, but I LOVE fashion :)

Thanks

Xoxo, Courtney


**Pictures; Kourtney Kardashian rocking the romper with tights and booties. Jessica Alba in red pants, black blazer and white v-neck, paired with black booties.**

**Also, credit is given to the store, Love Culture (www.loveculture.com)**

New Year, NEW Weight?!?

So EVERY year around this time, I tell myself that my New Years Resolution is to loose weight, like most of us, we are GOOD for FIRST couple weeks, then we slack off like a bad habit :( This my friends has been going on with me for years. I finally have made a choice to once and for all do this NOT just for me, but for my kids. I hope and wish to be able to LIVE a long life and would want more than anything to see my grand-babies :) So I am doing this for my kids as well.

Here is some HISTORY on my weight struggle. Growing up I was ALWAYS skinny.When I got to high school, I was skinny. I am 5 feet, which is TINY, lol. So I NEVER passed 115 lbs.

Once I got to college (Penn State University), I gained SOME, but still NEVER made it past 130 lbs. I think I just came into a curvier figure. The food that I ate was put into all the right places, lol.

I got pregnant in 2004, and that was a ROUGH year. I had just graduated high school in 2003, sooo much was going through my mind at the time. Scared about being a young mother and scared to have to worry about whether his father and I would stay together to raise our son. LONG story short, my father was VERY strict, and when I found out that I was pregnant, I was too scared to even tell him... anything that had to do with me being pregnant, I would confide in my sister and my mother. My mom basically ended up telling my dad and I wasn't allowed to stay there (in his eyes, IF I was grown to be sexually active like that, I can be grown and get out). Which I ended up doing after I finished up the semester. I moved to Brooklyn, NY in November of 2004. My weight from there went UP.

I moved in with my boyfriend's mother who is Dominican. They LOVE starches...rice, yuka (which is like potatoes), pasta. I gained SOOOOOOOOOOOO much weight with our first child, not sure if it was because I had nothing else to do while I lived there, out of boredomm OR was it because we were first time parents and felt like we had to make sure our baby was eating? Lol...who knows. BUT I blew up. After I had my son in April of 2005...it took me a year or so to loose the weight. And I was back at a lower weight but not at my pre-baby weight. But my face was skinny and everything else. Just not as tight as it used to be. Mothers...you know how it is. Some of you are blessed to have those GOOD genes, ughhhh!!

I got pregnant with my second child in 2007, I was pretty much skinny again. Lost most if not all of the baby weight from my son. This pregnancy was sooooo much different then with my son. I knew that I didnt want to get fat, lol. And my eating habits were so much different than that of my sons. I felt nauseas of most foods. I actually had to see a dietician during my pregnancy with my daughter because I wasnt gaining weight at those regular check ups that you have while pregnant. I have to admit, I looked pretty good while pregnant with my daughter. I was skinny with a belly! I was like that all through the 9 months...my belly would just grow. I gave birth to my daughter June of 2008. As soon as I delivered her, I was back to my normal self. I breast fed her for a couple weeks which helped shrink the uterus back down and burned calories. I really felt that when I would breast feed my daughter.

I maintained my skinny frame after her delivery. NOT super skinny, but it was tiny for what I have been.

Now, this is the part where my weight went up. In 2009 (Feb-March) my father was diagnosed with cancer. He underwent radiation treatments, but in a short time, radiation wasn't doing anything and his doctors said that if he did surgery there was really no point. So they gave my father a couple months to live. That was the hardest thing for me. I had just had my daughter and to hear this news really upset me and I got really depressed. When I get depressed, I tend to let food comfort me. When I found out in his last moth he had to live, as he slowly declined and requested not to die in a hospital setting, he wanted to do in house hospice care, I packed my bags and took my baby girl back to my parents house with me and left my son with his father due to school to watch over my father and be close to him. Also I wanted to help my mother out. That month as he slowly died, we had shifts. I would do the shift from 10pm-2-3am. Since my father basically lived in our dining room on a hospital bed, with a feeding tube attached to him, someone had to be there to disconnect it from him when he needed to use the bathroom. Also, we needed to make sure that he didn't fall or anything on the way to the bathroom. He had a bell in there with him, so that we could hear him. So for about a month or so, I had this late night shift, where I was extremely depressed, and ate while I sat up to watch him. I would watch tv, and eat ice cream. EVERY night. My weight gain went from good to BAD quick. My father surcame to cancer in April 2 days after my sons birthday). Once he did pass, I was sooooooooo depressed and would cry every night. And I would eat and eat and eat.

Almost 3 years later...I have not lost all the weight back yet that I gained during that time of having my daughter to my father passing. I know my father would want me to be in good health (not skinny, but at a weight meant for my frame).

These are not excuses, but this is what has shaped some of my weight gain. Its very hard, esp once you have kids...they tend to want all the sweet thinga. I am making a healthy lifestyle change for myself and for them. We are not people who binge out on junk food by any means. We are somewhat healthy but could be alot more healthier.

So, after Christmas passes, I will go out and buy a scale and weigh myself with a beginning weight IF any of you are in this with me or interested, I can put up the beginning weight, then week by week or month to month, show the weight progress. I hope this helps me or any of you who are going through something similar...it all starts with you acknowledging that there IS a problem and DOING not saying.

-Cut out ALL soda, even most juices
-Start re-vamping your fridge...BUY organic
-Put in MORE veggies and fruit
-More fish and chicken, turkey
=Eat breakfast, light snack, lunch (small snack), and a well poportion dinner


Here are some pictures of my weight through the years:

**Happy Holidays**

It's been awhile since my last posting! I hope everyone enjoyed thier Thanksgiving!! I know that I did, and probably gained a few pounds (as most of us did), lol. I am curious to know what are some of your rituals for Thanksgiving? Does your family have traditions where you cook the same thing every year? Who cooks what?

As per our family, we tend to cook the same thing every year. We do a turkey, candid yams, corn caserole, string bean caserole, mashed potatoes, 2 kinds of stuffings, mac n cheese, and rice and beans...trying to think of anything else I left out?!? I think that;s the majority of it. This year was the very FIRST year that I made the candid yams all by myself :) Proud of that dish, lol! My sister is the cook of the house, so for me...this was a accomplishment!!

My Mom decided to add a ham this year, which we have never done before. It was soooo YUMMY!!

It's now December, I can hardly believe it. Time has flown by. Still NO snow yet...but I will never complain about that! I HATE the snow and being cold. So I usually dread this time of year, but as of yet...the ONLY thing that has fallen from the sky is rain, which I like :)

I just wanted to do a quick update and WISH everyone a very very blessed HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Also, this is a time where you should try and reach out to someone less than fortunate than yourself. If you have a home or a aprtment to go to, or running water, clothes and shoes...then consider yourself VERY lucky. There are many many homeless people out there on the streets, some with young children. There are men, women, and children fighting the battle of thier life, cancer. Let us not forget about them. If you have time in your day to vlunteer and help with charities, go out and look for one that interests you. I know growing up, my parents had my sister and I partake in many charities, such as Toys for Tots where we brought in and gift wrapped each present for children. We also rang the bells in the freezing cold for the Salvation Army. I am blessed that my parents had my sister and I do these things because of that, I am now able to pass these things onto my kids. My son who is 6 years old was given $3, he saw a man ringing the bell for Salvation Army and gave $1 to the man. This made me feel proud that my son was willing to give up $1 (to him that was a BIG deal, because he does not know the value of money clearly yet, and those 3 bucks were somethign BIG to him). So little things like that, helps. If you cant find the time to donate your time to, then donate 1 DOLLAR to the Salvation Army, or buy a gift (does not have to be big), and drop if off at a Toys for Tots location in your area. I stress this, because we should not only do these sorts of thigns during the holidays, but again...the holidays are supposed to be filled with lots of love and family. Why not make a person's life brighter. I know how I feel when I give back what I can, you will feel good as well. Promise!! :)

So as we go out and shop around for presents this year, or as we stand in line at the grocery store, let us NOT forget about those who are less fortunate and try to give back what each of us can! This is our world we live in, we are all one.

Again, HAPPY HOLIDAYS and make someone's life a little brighter!! Xoxo

Courtney

Hair update :)

Hey everyone!

So I had a little time in my schedule before I need to go pick my son up from his after-school program! So I figured I would do a little update on my hair :)

As you should all be aware of by now, a couple months ago I went on a hair-diet. Meaning, I use NO heat whatsoever, and I wear it in its natural state, which is curly. I have not straightened my hair or used any sort of heat on it probably for almost 2-3 months! :) Very proud of myself.

Well on 11-14-11, I decided it was time to give it a try and straighten my hair. Its such a LONG process for me. I swear I started at 12am and finished about 1:30 (maybe a little bit earlier that that, but it was def. after 1am).

I put my hair in sections to make it easier. Then section off that section into smaller sections to get each little strand of hair. Once I do that, then I spray each section that comes into contact with heat with a heat protecting spray! Ughh, just typing it and thinking about the process seems so annoying. Lol...maybe I am OVER-dramatic :)

Anyways, I finished and I was soooo IMPRESSED with how much my hair grew. It was probably a couple inches or so, but to me...I was very content with the inches it did grow!

Once I finished flat-ironing my entire head, I sectioned my hair into 2 parts (leaving my bangs out), then pinned those sections back after spraying some Olive Oil on it. I grabbed my flexi-rods and rolled my bangs on each side. I finally went to bed...

When I woke up in the morning, I took the pins out, and touched it up a bit with the flat iron, then I took out the flexi-rods and I was amazed to see the curl that I got without having to use a curling iron on my hair!! These flexi-rods are like my NEW best friend

. They gave my hair volume and style to it without having to use any heat, which makes it even better!! So if you're anything like me and are trying to get the hair on your head back to a good place, then I strongly urge you to step back from heat and go on a heatless hair diet 2-3 months at a time! And when you do finally get to straighten your hairm use flexi-rods to give you a style look. Check out my previous post on flexi-rods and how to use them!

I got soooo many compliments on my hair the following day! People I know, thought that I went to a hair salon to get my hair done, so being someone that wasn't into hair at all and knew nothing about maintaining it, I felt very proud of myself..

So, remember go on a heatless hair-diet. Start maybe little by little, see if you can go 2-3 weeks with out using any heat, then if you can...amp it up to 1-2 months without heat. I started on this heatless-hair diet in the summertime, which was probably the best thing for me. My hair is naturally curly, so in the summer-time there is NO point to even bother to straighten my hair. It will sweat out anyways, which is super annoying. And if I go to the beach with my kids or to the pool, 10 times out of 10...I end up getting in the water, so really no point to it.

So no heat ladies, and when you do, its all about the flexi-rods!!

*Also, I forgot to mention, when you are on this no-heat hair diet, it doest NOT mean leave your nautral hair neglected. I still took really good care of my curls. I would apply the Shea Moisture masque on my hair every week OR every-other week. And I would use other Shea Moisture products on my curly hair, so it wa snot neglected.

And MOST importantly, women of color do not need to wash thier hair everyday! Our scalps tend to be heavily moistured as it is, plus all the product that we use adds more moisture to our hair and scalp. So I do NOT wash my hair every day, by doing so, you eliminate your hair and scalps natural oils which can make your hair dry and dull.

Here are some pictures that I took on my web-cam the day after I straigtened my hair! Hope you like :)

Any questions, comments, or advice...I would love to hear!

Thanks and many blessings, xoxo

Courtney

Flexi Rods

I didn't think that I would post again so soon, but since this was on my mind since last night..I had to share something that I left out of my previous post in "Things I can't live with out"!!

So if you are new to my blog, I welcome you with open arms. Anyways, when I FIRST started this blog, I went through a complete hair experience. My hair was so damaged from years of coloring, bleeching it, and not trimming my hair frequently enough!! Anyways, long story short...I went to the salon and they had to chop off soooo much of my hair! :( But, this experience totally put me on this great hair journey. I no longer color my hair (I haven't since almost a year and a half ago), and I wear it more in its natural state, which is curly! Lastly, I do NOT use as much heat as I used to with the flat iron, and I know...we all love our beloved flat irons, even girls with straight hair use them!

With that said, no heat which means no flat irons/curling iron. I came across flexi rods! They are the BEST invention yet, since the rollers :) In my opinion at least. Flexi rods are basically what it seems like they are, its a soft cushioned rod that is bendable. You use them the same as you would a regular roller set, but you don't need any pins or clips to hold your hair in place, which is genious!!!! Also, the fact that they are softer, makes it sooo much easier to sleep in at night. I used to hate doing my hair in a roller set and sleep in them, I never got sleep :/ With these, you do :)

You can use them in wet, damp, or even dry hair. They can be used in weave, or in your natural hair.

I like to wash my hair, and comb it out, placing a small ammount of Morrocan Oil on my hair, then proceed to roller set my hair with the flexi rods. If you leave them in over night, the curl will be so beautiful!

These are sol dat beauty supply stores. Check out Sally Beauty on line. I bought mine from Ross's, a store in my mom's town for ONLY $1.99 for a 6 pack (they were the purple ones). They sell them in different colors for different hair types and the type of curl you want!!

I really reccommend this to someone who is trying to get on the healthier track when it comes to thier hair. No heat used, no clips used. Just the rods and your hair, and some product if you like :)

Please comment below if you like. Also, check out this video below that I found on You Tube on the use and look of flexi rods. Thanks, xoxoxo...

Courtney

Things I can't live with out!

Hello everyone! It's a brand new month...yay for November! Is it me, or are these months going by so quickly?!?

So I am back with another post :) I wanted to do something very quick and simple. I have 3 things that I am currently obsessed with and cannot live with out in my life.

First up, is Maybelline's- The Falsies Volume Express in Blackest Black (H401)
I have tried my share of mascarras, every brand possible. But this mascarra is like no other. I literally put on 2 coats of this product and it really did look like I applied false lashes! I was very much impressed by the reults. Most of the time I am skeptical, because 7 times out of 10, the products that claim to do so much, don't. I always buy my mascarra in blackest black, always! Anyways, this was kind of exspensive...I think I bought it for $8 bucks. So worth it though!!

Next up is...Glade 2 in 1 candels! I love these. You get 2 different scents in one jar. It costs roughly, rounding up about $4. Ihave a bunch of them around my place, in the living room, and in the kitchen. I like to light them when my place is clean, and the smell is so rich, fills my house up well. Great gift to give someone too, since the holidays are coming up! I LOVE candels :)

And finally...this is a product that I really cannot live with out. I use this almost every day when I go out. Even if I have no make up on, I will apply this and some lip stain and run out the door...I am talking MAC's- eye brow pencil in Spiked (brown color).
There is not much to say about this, other than I use this every day! Make up or no make up! This color blends in so nicely with my brows. I have gotten compliments on my brows recently too :) I use Spiked as well as the Exspresso eye shadow in MAC as well.

Okay, so these are a few of my faves right now! If I think of anything else, I will post again. Hope everyone is doing well. Xoxo,

Courtney

Holloweeeeeen!

Hi everyone! Thanks to those of you who check out my site when I post something new! I am by no means an expert blogger, but I enjoy this...a place to put my thoughts down, my favorites to share with you all, and a glimpse of my crazy yet beautiful life :)

Okay, so Holloween is RIGHT around the corner! Can you believe that October is almost finished, then it's by far one of my most favorite months of all time, hands down...November! Lol, probably because I like to eat!! ;)

Me and my hubby took the kids to Queens last night to go to Party City to find thier costumes. My son has been stuck on being a vampire since the summer time, and my daughter reallly wanted to be a Disney princess...let's be real here...I am not going to pay any place money for some girly dress when she has tons of dresses in her closet that she hasn't even worn yet, for that, I coudl dress her up in her of he rfancy dresses that she already owns. BUT, what 3 year old really wants to hear the word "NO". Luckily for me, I have a way with persuaion. I focused her attention on Bat Woman from Batman, a Kitty Cat, and Jesse from..she went with Jesse from Toy Story!

My son on the other hand was much easier, c'mon...he's a guy. He was so stuckon being a vampire, but then as soon as we entered the store, he changed his mind! He wanted to be a ninja :) I think he was more focuse don the knives and swords! I guess some things never change...from being a boy to a man and thier fixation with gadgets! So we walked out with a ninja and Jesse. Mission completed...

This brought me right back to my child hood though. Growing up, my mom would make my sister and I's costume. Every year, until we grew out of trick-or-treating. She would asked us what we wanted to be, and she would get the fabrics and the pattern to make exactly what we wanted. Going to Party City last night (which was insanely packed to the max) just really gave me a feel of how time flys by right before your eyes and how my child hood was different than that of my children's. The only thing I had to do last night was stand in a line, let them pick out thier costume, then let the employees know the number and size. Yes, sign of what was and what is now!

Holloween has to be one of my favorite time of the year to enjoy with my children. From pumpkin picking, to decorating our place with holloween related items, to letting thier imaginiation go with thier costumes. I just LOVE :)

Everyone, have a SAFE and FUN Holloween experience, stay blessed, xoxo

Courtney

YOUR life, YOUR health...

It is so important that you make regular doctor visits to get a check up! I cannot stress this enough!

If any of you are like me, I am terriefied of the doctors. In the back of my mind, I am always nervous about them telling me the un-thinkable...CANCER. We have to be realistic at this point though, cancer DOES exhist, there are MANY forms of cancer..some affecting a certain minority group, some affecting ONLY women and men seperately.

My father passed away 2 years ago from cancer. It was the hardest thing to have to go through. I almost start to tear up just thinking about how he KNEW his time was up, but his cancer progressed and there was literally nothing to do to bring him back. He lived a long, good life though. But I have this picture of his frail frame embedded in my mind that really never goes away. I think from that moment on, I was really interested and invested in taking care of my body and health.

I think 2 years ago, I went in for a regular check up with my doctor, and she performed a breast exam, she felt something, and reccommend that I go in to see a specialist, I have never been so nervous in my life. I went in, but luckily nothing was wrong with my breast tissue.

Now that we are in breast awareness month, I felt that I needed to STRESS the importance of checking your breast at home AND making regular check up visits with your doctor! Breast cancer affects women all over, state to state, city to city, and race to race.

Women in thier 20's-30's should perform a self-breast exam every month, looking for SWELLING, DISCHARGE FROM BREAST, REDNESS, UNUSAL CHANGE IN BREAST SIZE, and TENDERNESS. If you notice any of these, seek medical intervention right away, do not wait...this could save your life!

Women in thier 40's should start gettting a mammogram done, I think it's either every 3 years OR every 2 years.

Remember, this is YOUR life to live, no one else's. Be smart, check your breast AND make regular doctor visits

Be Blessed, xoxo Courtney

Pumpkin Picking

So last weekend, I took my kids to Queens County Farm to go pumpkin picking, get on a hay ride, and let them get dirty at the petting zoo, lol :) We had so much fun...I felt like a little kid again! I thought that I would share some pictures from our little trip to the farm!! Enjoy, xoxo Courtney

Once we got back home, i todl the kids that we would go to a art and craft store, which we did! We headed to Michael's (that place has every thing in it). We bought some paint, paint brushes, and all the other things to go along with painting! They ended up painting thier pumpkins all BLACK!! I was so sad, because who wants all black pumpkins in thier house for holloween? Not I...so I had the hubby fix them and paint scary faces. They look soooo much better!! (Sigh)

Here they are:

Assets :)

I am a die hard Kardashian fan, and who doesn't love Kim Kardashian?!? I know I love me some Kim K. The question is, who has the BEST booty, Kim K OR Amber Rose?

My vote is for Kim K. Kim is a short girl like I am, and if your packing some cake back there with no height, then its obvious!

Amber Rose was recently on Hot.97 doing an interview, and they were doing a "ass off" between her and Kim K. Rose said in her interview that she has the better ass, because Kim is short and she is like 5'9 with junk in the trunk. You can read or listen to her full interview at: www.hot97.com

BUT, let us not forget about thee original coke body ladies :)

Puerto Rican sex symbol, Jennifer Lopez

Tennis all-star, Serena Williams

Now this is a whoe lotta ass, lol!!

I think it would go Serena Williams, Kim Kardashian, J Lo, and Amber Rose...sorry to the Rose lovers, but she is NOT stacked like that!!

Something Personal...

Hey loves :)

So I know most who come to check out this site are pretty used to me posting about hair, make up and fashion...plus random mom related things. However, this post is something deeper that what I have done before. This is directly related to me, very personal!

I am adopted, this is apart of who I am that makes me so unique. My sister and I were adopted early on, I think I was about 5, and my sister must have been around 4 (we are 15 months apart).

Growing up, my sister and I never really knew that we were adopted. My parents (my adoptive parents) were black (father) and white (mother). Where I grew up in Fairfax, VA it was very diverse, the elementary school that I went to was so mixed, that the race issue between my parents never even crossed my mind! Plus, do kids really see in black and white when you're that little? I sure didnt! I was just happy to be playing with barbie dolls, lol.

So growing up wasn't bad at all. My parents were my parents and that was that. No questions asked. Hoever, prior to finally being adoptedmy our parents, my sister and I were bounced from house to house. I remember this so well. I remember one time, being taken away to this young white woman and her husband. I remember thier house being like a mansion. They were nice, but I only remember staying with them for like a couple of days then we were shipped right back to the foster home that we lives in (my sister and I). I was kind of used to being shuffeled around from place to place, home to home, family to family when I was younger. That's how I know something was kind of different back then.

My father once told me, that I asked him "If we were going to stay here, or leave"? So back then, even at the age that I was...I knew something was different.

Growing up, the fact that I was adopted didn't really hit me until I was in high school, maybe a year or two before then. I had thoughts of "I wonder what my real mom and dad look like", OR "I wonder if I have other siblings other than the one that I know". Questions like those began developing early on. Probably more like pre-teen. You know, when you begin to develop social identity. That was the hardest thing for me, I think. Not knowing who I am and when people would ask me what mix that I am, I would just say black and white, which I knew that much about myself...but it was deeper than that. I began lashing out in middle school...I really wanted to fit in and be like everyone else. I think I was like that because I wanted to feel like I belonged to something or someone, because for so long I was convinced that I wasn't me...as weird as it sounds, I truly didn't want to be me or be the weird adopted girl!

Anyways,I got older and I kind of grew into myself. I let the whole adoption thing go for then, because I was more focused on friends and boyfriends back then anyways. It wasn't until one day my sister and I got a important phone call from my mother who told us to come home quickly...I was thinking what could have happened? When we both arrived back home, both my mother and father were sitting at our dining room table holding a envelope and a letter...I kind of had a clue to what it could have been, but never thought it was what it ended up being...it was a hand written letter from our biological mother "Nicole" to my sister and I. My parents were very cool, they asked us how we wanted to approach this situation, if we wanted to write a paragraph or two back to her with a picture. So both my sister and I tped/hand wrote a paragraph and attached a letter. My mom mailed it off. That was that...

I graduated high school in 2003 and entered a university, to study HDFS. I ended up getting pregnant with my now 6 year old son :) This is what truly started my search to find clues about my past. Kind of a blessing in disguise, I guess. I found out so much from my on going to phone calls. Most people were happy to hear from me, which was warming. I ended up finding all my aunts and uncles, cousins, grand mother, and great-grand mother. As well as reconnecting with my biological mother. Although she has greater issues that I can't really talk with her with out getting angry or annoyed.

All this research, I have found out that my sister and I have 3 more sisters, younger than us. They all must be between the ages of 17-24. Fantasia, Lauren, and Malerie. I am on a mission now to find them. I also found my sister's father who sadly passed awa in 2001. I am trying to connect with her deceased father's sisters and brother...I have names for them all, but no addresses.

I do not know who my father is as of yet, but there is a man who claims to be my father..I have been holding off on doing the DNA test that he sent me months ago, I don't know...I would love to know, but something is scary as to finding out if he is or not...apart of me would like him to be, but then apart of me is kind of scared.

Being adopted is apart of me, but it does not define me. Yes, I am adopted and no I am not the weird person that I used to think I was because of this. Sometimes life gets the best of people and people make mistakes. I am so happy that there is a God up there, because I know that he looked out for my sister and I. I know that if I would have not been adopted my life would be unknown...I truly mean this too. I am grateful every day for Nicold giving birth to my sister and I. I have 2 beautiful kids and a beautiful nephew. Nicole is not my mother, she gave me life. I hold a special place in my heart for her...but I do not hold grudges. CPS taking us in changed my life forever. I was placed in the most warming and loving home that I could ever ask for.

So for those who are reading this, you might have learned something new about me, or those who know me...are getting more personal details. Being adopted and the feelings that come are not easy to deal with. But in most cases, being put up for adoption or CPS stepping in could be th eMOST important thing that has happened in your life. Sure, as you get older who have questions about idenity and struggle with that, as I did. But after becoming pregnant with my son almost 7 years ago, I let it stop defining me. I am adopted, so what!?! I remember I used to hide that fact from people, because most could never understand my situation or what it meant to be adopted.

I will continue to search for our other sisters, as well as my biological father, and my sister's biological fathers side of the family. Once I find out, this will be like closure...

Its just weird to me how somewhere out there, maybe we crossed paths at some point and didn't even know that we were sisters! I am blessed...and all I know is that God is good. Amen :)

FALL is here :)

One of my favorite seasons has made its arrival :) I am super excited about that. I LOVE everything about FALL. From fashion to make up, to fall activities, oh yeah...and football!!

One trend that I have fallen in love with and have tried experimenting with is fall make up. BOLD eyebrows (defined), and deep reds and plums for the lips! I was kind of excited about this new trend because it gives me something new to try out. I tried wearing red lip stick before, but I really hated how it looked on me! Now, don't get me wrong...some people know how to rock a bangin' RED lip, me on the other hand, not so much!! I perfer something more deeper, like a wine type of color on my lip!!

I am definetely on a budget when it comes to make up shopping :( But you have to work with what you got, right? You can be fabulous no matter what kind of budget you're on...you just have to make it work for YOU, and you need to be happy and confidant :)

Alrighty then...with that said, I am going to show a look for the "fall trend" in make up, and post two lip colors that I have bought and like!

BOLD and DEFINED brow with a deep wine color <3

I achieved the brow with MAC's Cork and the lips NYC Lip Stain 16H in "499- Forever Mine Wine"

I wanted to try this lip stain product, it was cheap, so I bought it :) I purchased it from Rite Aide around where I live for about $2.99. You can purchase these products from other drug stores. I am impressed, however the color is not as pigmented as I would want it to be on my lip, so I actually paired this color with ELF'S "Malt Shake", then applied NYC's lip stain on top. The color came out so pretty!! I will have to another review on Elf's "super glossy, lip shine". I loooove thier glosses. :) I want to try out NYC's other lip stains, but I went in only looking for wine, and plum colors. This is a good buy for someone who isnt really into make up like that and want to try something new to test out colors!!

Back to School

The time is approaching...where most kids dread it, and most parents can't wait! It's back to school time =) Yayy!!

My boyfriend and I really stress the importance of school and doing your absolute best that you can. I know our children are young, ages 6 and 3..but we feel that putting a stress on what we expect this early, stays with them for a life-time.

So if you have children who will be going back to school, sit down with them and talk with them about how important thier education is. With an education, you can go far later on in life. Everything that you do now, will affect you in the future. Let's be real though, kids are kids. Kids still need to have fun. I am a big kid myself, so believe me..I know how to have fun. But when it comes to school (behaving, making good grades, completeing homework), that should always comes first. Then play time =)

My kid's father always tells our oldest (6 years old), that his ONLY job is to do well in school. Oh and to protect his younger sister ;)

With all this said, please..if you're a mommy as I am and you are reading this..if you get anythign out of this, it's the importance to stress how IMPORTANT your child's education is. Work hard means to play hard, right?

Also, I think its great to get children involved in activities outside of school that they have interest in. That builds charachter, emphasizes in team work, sportmanship, and they feel really great about themselves. They make great friends that way too!!

My son has professed a love interest in basketball, so as of now, I have been looking into a fall basketball league to enroll him in. And my little princess...my 3 year old, she LOVES to dance..so I am looking into ballet classes for her. Its all about WORKING HARD and PLAYING HARD!!

Get to know your child and thier interests. Listen to them. Talk with them. Have a GREAT year filled with learning and fun!!

xoxo, Courtney

Pucker Up

Another super quick post! (My din din is cooking on the stove, lol)'

I wanted to share with you 3 of my fave go-to lipsticks. I think I am SUPER boring when it comes to lipstick color. I like simple, nude lips with a hint of pinks, and corals. However, I bought a red color at the beginning of summer just to try something different. And I love :) But when it comes to applying red lipstick (I think) that you have to play it safe with your eye makeup...you can totally come off as a hooker with bright red lips and a face caked on with makeup. Remember..this is ONLY my opinion. But if I apply red lipstick to any look, my make up is always light on the eyes. A defined eyebrow, some blush, and some eye liner should do just the trick :)

Okay, so let's get started, shall we? First up, I will start with the color that I wear most of the time if I am going out for a casual look. It's from MAYBELLLINE, and the color is WARM ME UP. Here is a pic;

I can't say enough about this color! This is by far my absolute fave of all time!! This color is timeless, goes with any look! I like its creamy application texture as well. This is a must to have in your collection, in my opinion :) I bought this from Walgreens, but this is sold everywhere!!

Okay, next up...COVERGIRL's lip stick in KISS BAISER;

This color is a corally, peachy color when its applied (on me at least). It doesn't look like it when its in the tube, but trust me, when applied..its a beautiful summery color! It has a hint of shimmer in it as well. When applied, this texture is not as creamy as Maybelline up above, this kind of glides on your lips nicely. It all depends what kind of texture that you like. Again, this was bought at Walgreens for $5.99. You can find this product almost anywhere that Covergirl is sold :)

Finally, saving the red for last! In love with RIMMEL's Moisture Renew in RED ALERT :) Here is a picture for you, :

This is a true red color! I love to pair red lips with a soft make up look. Defined eye brows, and defined eye with black winged eye liner. I keep the blush very subtle, and this red lip stick polishes the look! I am into the actresses of the late 40's and 50's, very pin up. This color reminds me of that era for some reason! The texture is that of COVERGIRL, slides on satiny smooth on the lips. I think every girl should have some red lipstick in her collection ;)

Okay, that's it for now. Hope you guys enjoy and please go check out these colors and let me know how you like them (if you don't already have those colors)

Peace and Love, xoxo

Living In Sin

It's been awhile since my last posting! SO many things have been going on in my life...but the storm has ended and now the sun has never shined so bright :)

Glad to be back with you guys!! This is going to be a short posting, but I wanted to share one of my new faves for this month. Drum roll please (music playing in back ground):

SINFUL COLORS nail polish! My absolute fave this summer. This brand has amazing color slection at a LOW price, $1.99. I bought a few colors from Walgreens. However, I have ONLY bought this product from Walgreens, so I don't know where else you can find them. I would assume that CVS, Rite Aide, Duane Reede, and possibly Wal Mart carries this product. The above SINFUL COLOR is TIMBLEBERRY. I have that in my own collection. The color is sooo pretty. Its a mix between coral and pink. Delish ;) Some other faves are;

Color: SAVAGE

Color: HAZARD

Color: MINT APPLE

**Updated HAIR PRODUCTS**

I have been ONLY using these all natural "organic" products in my hair for a couple months now. Whether my hair is curly or not. These products were brought to my attention from Youtubers that I like to watch. Thanks "shortysgs03" and "bbop2282", as well as "andreas choice". :) if you have time, check out thier vids, they are all equally amaazing in thier talents!!

So for starters, I stated using "Shea Moisture" hair products. I use thier: "Shea Moisture Organic Raw Shea Butter Moisture Retention Shampoo", this product is amaazing for my hair!! I honestly don't need to use a conditioner after shampooing, which when using other shampoo products, I always need to use a conditioner! My hair soaks up all the moisture and can get dried out real fast...but this product, I swear is amaazing. I will never use another shampoo for my hair! The smell has a organic smell to it, some reviews, people didn't like the smell of it, but I love the smell, and it leaves my hair smelling great for days!! My hair becomes soooo soft after using this! It's sold at Target and Walgreens. I purchased mine at Walfreens for $10, TRUST me, it may be alot, but well worth it :)

Another product fave, that I love, is: "Cantu Shea Butter Leave in Conditioning Repair Cream"

This product is GREAT as well! It's a leave in cream, you can use while styling, and as well on wet hair. I also started using this on my almost 3 year old daugter's hair. We kind of have the same hair type! This product leaves hair feeling so fresh and clean, lol. It's not heavy either, which I love. You know sometimes when you use some hair products it makes you feel dirty? LOL, like oyu have a head full of grease on your head...I hate that!! You don't need alot on your hair, just a dime size. Depending on your hair though, if its thick and course, you might need more that I would. It smells heavenly as well. Very rich. Highly reccommend. It's sold at Walgreens for about $5. Worth the buy, and it comes with alot of product :) :) 

Annnnd FINALLY,

"Shea Moisture Organic Raw Shea Butter Deep Treatment Hair Masque"

 

I have a love for this as well. Its a deep treatment masque, which means you wash your hair, then you leave in for 25-30 minutes. I like ot put a shower cap on, and sit under my dryer for 30 minutes, to let the product build up in my hair! Leaves my hair feeling great, and after my hair has seen this product, it has become so much stronger. Again, this product is sold at Target or Walgreens. I purchased mine at Walgreens since I have one literally right donw the block form where I live! It retails for $10. The smell is the same, a bit stronger and organic, than the shampoo I mentioned above, but I like the organic smell, lol.

If any of oyu try these products out, or have any other suggestions, please let me know! Thanks, xoxo